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Title - A Different Kind of Need

Characters - Nine/Rose

Summary - Rose finds out first hand just how much unfathomable pain the Time War was for the Doctor. And the Doctor comes to the revelation of how much he truly needs Rose Tyler. 

Genre - Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

Rating - Slight M rating for mature themes and sexual content

The Doctor broke into a headlong sprint down the rattling, unsteady, and rapidly collapsing bridge towards his only salvation. The TARDIS came into focus out of the noxious smoke and humid steam that obscured his vision, and with a few more feet to go, his hearts felt the glorious adrenaline rush of guaranteed survival. He had only to unlock the door, set some haphazard coordinates into the console and get himself the hell away from the cataclysmic destruction.
Until an indescribable pain shot through his body; he had been hit square in the back by a Dalek's laser arm. A massive amount of blood circulated through his entire body as his system tried to cope with the shock of the blast. As hard as he could try, his lungs wouldn't respond to his desperate wish to draw breath. The blast had fried the nervous system in his spine, his organs were rapidly shutting themselves down. The last thing he heard before the world became a complete void was the Dalek's metallic screech of "EXTERMINATE!!"

They had left him for dead, not bothering to see if he would regenerate for they had obliterated his nervous system. It wouldn't matter anyway if he could regenerate, seeing how the planet itself was beyond saving and had the life burned away from it at this point. They hovered away, leaving him a broken and lifeless stain on the cold steel floor while the world shook around him...

It took his body several times longer to regenerate itself from such a large amount of trauma. His brain sent weak signals to his lungs telling him to breathe, in which he took in a sharp cocktail of smoke as his lungs roared back to life. His body raged in pain as he coughed out from smoke inhalation. His hearts sent blood pumping through his system once again, bringing life to his arms and legs. He dragged his torn up body painfully across the floor towards the TARDIS; his right hand fumbling around in his pocket for the key. With a burst of newly found strength, his arm stretched and trembled its way up to the keyhole, and with a huge amount of effort he had managed to unlock the door. 

He crawled inside the TARDIS, kicking the door shut with his foot. His eyes could barely focus on the task of inputting his destination, but he had managed well enough to hear the sound of the TARDIS making its departure. With the task completed, he had become so exhausted and worn down that he passed out on the floor. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, far from it in fact. His mind felt the excruciating pain of his people's screams, and the telepathic links he had shared with several of his closest friends had been severed at the nerves of his subconscious. The screams were ear blistering and soul piercing which caused his body to shake violently on the floor. Finally, his own scream of horror joined theirs and his screams reverberated throughout the TARDIS...

Rose sat there reclined in the huge leather chair in the TARDIS theater, popcorn at her side and a drink in hand. This was one of the best things ever, she could watch movies from the future that hadn't been released yet. One of the many, many joys in living in the TARDIS. It was cheesy romcom night, Rose made it a game, take a handful of popcorn every time a stereotype and cliche would pop up in the story. Rose realized that movies really hadn't changed much in the future in that they were all so predictable. Rose was half tempted to see what the Doctor recommended her from some of the aliens he had ran into. He explained with that trademark adorkableness of his how aliens have their own take on romcoms. 

Something however broke her away from the world of the superficial and shallow people; she took a listen again and heard an odd noise. Rose paused the movie and perked up her ears again with her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Nothing...Rose cautiously went back to watching her movie and after a few more minutes, the same odd sound could be heard again. Rose immediately paused the movie once more, and abandoned the theater to go investigate. The closer she inched herself down the hall, the more she could make out what it was...Her eyes went wide and her heart thrilled inside her chest when it finally became apparent what that noise was; it was the Doctor! It was late at night, so Rose estimated that he would be in bed. She felt her face and the back of her neck get hot...She had never been in his bedroom before. What if for all she knew he slept naked?! 

Her instinct to go and see what was wrong intervened when she heard that he was screaming at the top of his lungs; Rose sprinted at a frantic level and followed the TARDIS' directions arriving at his door in record time. Rose thanked the TARDIS for the directions as she pressed the button next to the door. The minute the door panel shifted open, Rose saw something she never wished to see. The Doctor's eyes were shut tight with his face twisted in pain and horror, hands clinging onto his blanket for dear life while he screamed out so loud that it hurt Rose's ears.

"Oh my god...He's havin' a nightmare!"

Rose rushed to his side, shaking him to and fro in a vain attempt to reach him. Fear of not being able to wake him set in deep into her heart, Rose couldn't stand to see him suffering like this. She had never seen him like this, sure she had a taste of how much terror he had been through, but this was all of it in its terrifying glory. Tears clung to the corners of his eyes, his body had broken out in a cold sweat which darkened the color of his bed linen. Rose tried desperately to get him to wake up, until finally she matched his level of screaming and shrieked

"Doctor! Wake up, it's Rose! Wake up, I'm here!!" 

And with that the Doctor's eyes snapped open, and his arms flew themselves around Rose's waist. His hands gripped her onto her like a vice, fingertips almost implanting themselves into her back. Rose looked down at him in shock, she had never felt him cling onto her this desperately before, not even after he had that run in with the Dalek. He buried his face in her belly, nuzzling up against the bare skin of her midriff; Rose couldn't help but rub the top of his head in some method in order to instill some calmness into his frazzled nerves. He sobbed without restraint, not wanting to repress anymore of his overpowering sorrow. 

"They're all in my head...They're all in my head, screaming and bleeding and dying...They're all dead, all dead...Not comin' back...Not comin' back." The Doctor muttered. He kept repeating the same words over and over, no matter what he did, he couldn't shake off the voices of agony in his head. Rose was feeling very scared, not for herself, but for the Doctor. She had to find some way to break through to him. 

"I'm here Doctor...I'm here..." Rose soothed. She stroked the tight and knotted muscles of his back. He was tensed up everywhere, relaxing those muscles would be the first order of business. Her fingers gripped and squeezed gently around his back and by what she could tell, it was having the desired effect. The Doctor had begun to stop trembling in panic, his breathing had become more stable and much less erratic. His almost uncomfortable grip on her had loosened and his hands had now slipped down to the back of her legs, Rose blushed despite herself. Keeping focused at the task at hand, she rubbed his shoulders for an extended period of time and she felt a sense of gratification when he had let out a contented sigh. 

She didn't have to say anything to know that her presence was making a huge difference. She heard him let out a thoroughly exhausted yawn, his hands fell back to his sides as his mind finally was in a place where he could fall asleep again. Rose could hear the sound of his gentle and relaxed breathing, she gathered that he must have fallen back asleep. And when she went to look, sure enough, he was. Rose eased him back down on the bed, feeling like her presence was no longer required, she went to leave. That was until she saw that the Doctor's arm stretched out for her, he moaned out like a helpless creature


Rose walked back over to his bed and sat down on the edge, the Doctor grabbed her hand and placed it lovingly on his chest. Rose  leaned in closer to him, until before she knew it, had cuddled up next to him. She stared at his placid sleeping face, a far cry from the pained expression on his face he had before. He was beautiful in all of his sadness, he was a stunning creature of a man, this Time Lord from a world dead and gone...The contours of his body practically invited her touch, he was lean and lanky, but was strong and powerful all the same...He was like no other man she had ever seen before, he was like no man she had ever been with before either...Her hand stroked his chest, mesmerized by the double heartbeat that she felt, so mesmerized that it had lulled her to sleep.
The Doctor gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head, it had been ages since he had felt this amount of comfort, so he was going to enjoy it as much as he could before Rose changed her mind. In the morning, where they would be more rational of mind, this would all be swept under the rug. He didn't expect Rose to stay with him like this, with this much intimacy, he didn't deserve such comfort...

When the Doctor's alarm went off, both he and Rose stirred in their fading slumber, the Doctor rubbed his eyes and slapped the damned thing with the back of his hand.
"Yeah yeah, I heard ya...I'm awake...Time to go wake up Rose..."

"You don't have to go anywhere Doctor, 'm right here." Rose mumbled.
The Doctor looked up at Rose who was lying right on top of his chest, and she looked...Oh how she looked gorgeous, what with her magnificent curves in all the right places, he looked up at her with half dazed eyes and placed a hand at the nape of her neck. He lifted himself up with one arm and kissed her forehead, giving her a tender and warm smile of thanks. He had only intended it to be a chaste kiss on the forehead, but something deep within him that had stayed dormant...Something that he had tried desperately to calm, had finally charged its way into the forefront of his consciousness. He looked past the image of the man he saw reflected back in her eyes, he looked past his age and circumstance to kiss her softly on her lips. 

What had shocked him was not the act of him imposing himself on Rose, no, that wasn't it. It was the fact that she reciprocated in his desire. Soon, the two of them were locked in each others arms, kissing with deep satisfaction in the act. Rose swam into the depths of his kiss, into the depths of a true and spiritual sense of fulfillment. The Doctor tried to reason with her, that he was too old for her and that she would change her mind, but her heart wasn't swayed.

He couldn't comprehend why a woman like Rose would want to have sex with a man like him, he couldn't comprehend a lot of things lately, but he had admitted to himself that he couldn't deny what Rose meant to him. That she was more than a traveling companion, although, he would have been fine with it if that's all she wanted out of their relationship even if it meant his hearts would break. She had become someone that he loved, someone that he was so frightened of losing. Sometimes, in his nightmares instead of the Time War, he dreamed about losing Rose. This radiant, glowing firestorm of emotions woman that pierced through the veil of sorrow that had hung over him for so long. 

The sound of her breathing heavily, calling out his name in a mantra with sweat dampening her golden hair...He felt tears pinprick at the corners of his eyes, how, in the spite of all things had he been graciously deemed worthy of her magnificence? He had been to the farthest reaches of space, seen massive explosions of star stuff, but it couldn't compare to the genesis of life that was created in this moment. This mystical, sensual, earthly dance of bodies coming together touched the center of his being.

Rose felt like she was flying, her hands barely left his body, she had never felt such deep satisfaction from love making like this. This was the real deal, this was it for her. No one else would measure up, no man would ever dare to try. This man was all that she needed, she could spend forever travelling the ocean of stars with her beloved Doctor. Her beautiful blue eyed Doctor. This was the kind of love that could only be described as fairy tale love. Rose couldn't help but utter out the words in a sweet benediction 

"I..I love you Doctor!"

The Doctor's eyes clamped shut as he felt his release, letting Rose's words wash over him in warm waves. Rose embraced him tightly, not wanting to let go of this treasured moment. She would remember this, this would stay with her forever. 

"Rose...Everyday, I will promise everyday to be worthy of that love...My beloved...My Rose..."

Date: 2012-06-08 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so glad Rose was able to comfort the Doctor through his nightmares. His feelings of unworthiness are always at the surface. Rose is able to brush those aside and reassure the Doctor of her love for him.

I really like the quiet build up of the Doctor and Rose's lovemaking in the morning. This imagery is beautiful:
... She stared at his placid sleeping face, a far cry from the pained expression on his face he had before. He was beautiful in all of his sadness, he was a stunning creature of a man, this Time Lord from a world dead and gone...The contours of his body practically invited her touch, he was lean and lanky, but was strong and powerful all the same...He was like no other man she had ever seen before, he was like no man she had ever been with before either...Her hand stroked his chest, mesmerized by the double heartbeat that she felt, so mesmerized that it had lulled her to sleep.

Thank you for another sweet fic full of so much love.

Date: 2012-06-08 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I really think that this was a strong comeback when it comes to my writing. I really think that this is some of my best thus far. I really do.


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January 2013

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